Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Mony's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, January 18th, 2007
1:55 am	Results of Tarot Reading...Will I find my SELF? The left card represents an important element of the past. King of Pentacles: The essence of earth behaving as air, such as a diamond: A true businessman, with a gift for identifying opportunities and taking advantage of them. A person well informed about the world, skilled in all things physical, and eager to encourage others. A pillar of practicality and dependability, embracing tried and tested methods, and possessing an innate understanding of the material reality. A philanthropist and devotee of both luxury and hard work, whose word is as good as gold. The middle card represents a deciding element of the present. Knight of Swords, when reversed: The dark essence of air behaving as fire, such as a tornado: A merciless and skillful warrior, unfettered by emotion or conscience. A nihilist who can refuse not even the most insurmountable of challenges. A person who inspires fear and hate through their domineering nature and the power of their presence. Speaking without tact or tolerance, in a sarcastic manner. May portend the swift initiation or conclusion of conflict, through the calamitous invocation of force. The right card represents a critical element of the future. Ace of Cups: The seed of a new relationship or spiritual journey - perhaps as yet unseen. An opportunity for joy, contentment, fertility, or enlightenment. Coming to understand the emotional needs of those around you. May represent an unexpected message, a chance meeting, or the start of a friendship or romance. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 16th, 2007
12:32 am	2007?!? Another year has come and gone and the hope of 2006 being a better year than the previous has come to pass. I want to be optimistic about what the future holds, but reality has shown me to expect nothing. I truly can’t say with all certainty that I can and will hold it together. No longer feeling balanced and feeling more like Sisyphus, I want to quit. Forget all the hard work and trying to maintain the reality of deranged illusions that I must provide shelter and be accountable for all responsibilities; contemplating forfeiting this role. Spirituality has been absent for sometime and now making the time to know my SELF once again. Needing to get away and experience nature untouched by modern man's civilization. Let the universe provide the comfort and the oneness that was meant to be experienced. It is time to shed the skin and begin something new. Knowledge has been compromised for the 9-7 corporate game in the hopes of making 6 digits consistently. It might be a blessing in disguise if I lose everything as there is always a plan B. Perhaps school to harvest and nurture my mind. The only question is how will I provide for the family’s financial needs while I am on my selfish quest to feed my mind? Coming to terms and letting go are my goals for 2007 to promote growth and rid of all stagnation. It is my past that led me to my present and it is how I will cope with my present that will determine my future. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 27th, 2006
11:57 pm	After a Year... It’s been over a year since I have updated my LJ. It seems like the only time I get on the computer now of days is when I am working. I don’t want to leave any evidence of who I am outside of work to fall into their hands. It’s kind of funny that my last post was about work and that seems to be my biggest upset right now. I was given this wonderful community to sell and I’ve been selling it, but the only problem is that I haven’t been paid on what I’ve sold because the corporation that I work for didn’t know full on what the City of Phoenix’s requirements were for the condo community. I am sitting there with irate homebuyers wanting to move into their finished homes, but can’t because we have to have 100% of the amenities in. It is stressful to deal with stressed out people and it is a financial burden not to get paid until they close. Sometimes I want to throw my hands up and just walk away. Counter Culture Café is still open for business. Sometime in the near future we will be closing the doors for a real remodel. We are going to expand the kitchen and therefore expand the menu choices. My plan is to apply for a beer and wine license once we have the new kitchen in and I’m getting paid on the homes that I’ve sold. I have worked my magick many times to keep the doors open, but Counter Culture needs to self sustain in the next year or I will have to abort this mission for a simple life. I’ve recently been going out and dancing the night away with Diobolica Robotica. I forgot how much fun it is to hang with the girls or a girl and just be a girl. Too bad she is leaving soon. I guess I’ll have to drag Dre out to dance with me. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 17th, 2005
11:05 pm	Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!! Things are looking up! I am experiencing a positive swing in my life right now. The tao is treating me good and I am grateful for everything that it has given to me. I am even grateful for the rough times that I had, because without them the good times would not be appreciated the same. I finally have a new community that I am starting. The community had huge coverage on many of the news stations. I will be selling condos in the Phoenix area. We opened up the community for the VIP list and in two days we have 328 people interested in purchasing in a community with a total of 244 units available. We are not selling homes right now, we are just taking peoples names for the list. When it comes time to sell, we sell to those on the list in the order listed. I feel like my career meter is a 10. I am enthralled with this because it means I will be able to keep the doors open at Counter Culture Cafe' until it is able to support itself. I am so freaking excited! I must stay focused and give it my all. The vibe at the cafe' is getting better and better. We have a lot of cool people that come in and make it feel like home away from home. Beautiful people inside and out come by and share creativity through art, music, dance and words of wisdom. The support from the community is very much appreciated. Current Mood: enthralled Current Music: Dre Snoring (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
11:05 pm	Weirded Out... I have had people offering me readings of all sorts. Last Saturday someone offered Dre a tarot reading at the cafe' and asked me if I had any questions. I wasn't really up to knowing my future so I gave the excuse that I was an extension of Dre and his reading was good enough for me. It was a good laugh, but my curiosity grew. I shuffled the cards to find out that I have sleep problems. The reader thought that I should pop a pill that's sold over the counter to insure 9-10 hours of sleep, but I informed him that it wasn't that I couldn't sleep and it was more of a matter of not being able to wake up. I am a nocturnal creature and have a difficult time sleeping during the "normal" hours. Once I do go to sleep, I don't want to wake up. I could sleep 15 hours if I didn't have the responsibilities that I do. Towards the end of the reading it came up that my relationship with my mother and family were not going to be mended in the near future. This is something that I already knew, but it was worth it to see if there was a surprise within the cards. I haven't read for a while purely because I feel like the cards don't have anything to show that I don't already know when it comes to me. I know I love my mother, but our relationship is better when we are apart. I hope she is doing okay and I hope she finds happiness. The part that has my panties in a bunch is what happened to me today. A lady and her husband walked into my office to look at our models. I gave a short presentation because I don't have much to sell. She came back into my office after touring the models and asked if I believe in psychics or tarot readers. I immediately responded with,"Excuse me?", just to make sure I heard her correctly. She said it again and I shook my head. She said there was something she had to tell me and so I escorted her back into one of my models so we could talk in private. She went on to tell me that there was someone that was envious of my father and mother's relationship and went to another person to place a curse on them. And the curse affected their kids more than it did my parents. The weird thing is that the story she gave me is the same story I had already heard from the tarot reader that told me I was going to meet my soul mate(Dre). Is this a story that tarot readers or psychics have for everyone? The first tarot reader I took her story with a grain of salt until I met Dre. I even thought the soul mate story was a bunch of BS after a couple of failed attempts at a relationship. And then I found Dre or he found me. Everything seemed to be what the original tarot reader had said. She said all the signs would be there and they were. The stars were aligned at our time of birth and my deceased father showed his approval from the dead. It was very apparent that Dre was my soul mate. The story of the envious curse was in the back of my mind and I didn't think much of it...until today. The lady that came into my office today went on to elaborate on the story of the curse by telling me that the envious lady was on my mother's side of the family and she dealt with dark spirits to put the curse on them. I felt my head spinning when she was talking to me. Some of the story I had already heard and the detailed parts were new to me. She started telling me that I feel like for every step I take forward I am taking ten steps back. True, but who doesn't feel that way!?! She said there is major blockage in my life right now and she will meditate on removing it from my life and give me a cleansing to help provide direction. She said that good things are coming, but the cleansing must be done first. She said so many things in a short period of time and now it just makes me wonder. Current Mood: weird Current Music: Footsteps at Counter Culture Cafe' (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 28th, 2005
7:44 pm	Painting on the House... Dre's off to Home Depot to purchase paints for the mural that we will soon have on the cafe'. I don't want to spoil it, but the mural is going to be flipping awesome. No one will be able to miss the cafe' with the eye candy on the side. The mural and the drive-thru menu will compliment each other very well. Dre was telling me how bad his back has been hurting him all day. When I came home from work, I found Dre on the floor with Azalea walking on his back. Azalea is always asking if she could give us a massage and we rarely take her up on it, but this was her time to shine. She showed Dre her mad skills and he said she was being pretty creative. She was very intuitive to his pain. Shamanic children are a good thing to have around. I was able to convince my management to let me work a Monday through Friday schedule. I am closing out my community and I was able to sell them on the benefits of me being there to take care of the administrative tasks on their administrative schedule. Truth is a lot can come up when people are about to close on a home and I can't afford someone else to lose one of my deals on my days off. They bought it! I would like to take a trip to Rocky Point and lounge on the beach with Dre. I wonder if I could talk him into running away with me for a weekend. I'll even be willing to stay in a tent and we could have sex magick to the sounds of the ocean. Just a weekend... Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Jimpster Slow n Low (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 24th, 2005
2:02 am	THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM... When you think you can trust someone, you better think again! Could you trust someone to never disrespect you behind your back? Can you trust that someone you trust to never cross the line? TRUST! Once again the wall goes up and no one can tear it down. Where is the Vodka to numb the pain. Lives change based on this thing called TRUST and lives can never be the same when it is shattered. Disrespect on any level is all the same! How could you look at this person the same way again after they disrespect you? Read between the lines. Current Mood: disappointed (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
9:21 pm	What is Today??? Time keeps on slipping into the future. Sometimes I don't even know what day it is. There are just so many things to do and so little time. Most of my time has been occupied and I am keeping an agenda so I can remember all my appointments and projects. We are having spoken word tonight at Counter Culture Cafe' and unfortunately I am not able to be there. Last week we had an awesome vibe and the place was packed, I was hoping for a repeat. I hope to get a little crazy and wild soon. I have to keep the balance in life and I think I have been a little too tamed lately. I should start practicing for the weekend...where is the ABSOLUTE? ;( (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, February 26th, 2005
3:06 am	WARNING!!! 123 DNB I am posting this in a half buzzed and half fearful stage. Any female that is in AZ and parties at Hot Pink please keep a watchful eye out for anything suspicious when you are walking to your vehicle. Unfortunately guys can't keep their hand to themselves. I was walking to my vehicle by myself and a guy pulls up next to me and asks me where I was going and I told him I was going home. He pulled up next to me and grabbed my ass. Of course I have the fight and then the flight mode and hit him. I don't know if the contact even did much, but I ran to my vehicle. As I was running to my vehicle three vehicles surrounded me. Fortunately I had my remote ready to unlock the doors and was able to think straight enough to put my keys in the ignition and I was ready to take anyone out with my vehicle if I had to. I think they knew and just tried to follow me instead. I ran through the red light and lost them. I am fortunate enough to have a destination down the street to go to, but I can't say the same for everyone. Please be aware of a vehicle with the license plate number starting with 123 and I think the ending is DNB. It is a white compact vehicle the other one that I can recall is a blue suburban and the others I don't recall. I don't want to hear that anything happened to anyone. (42 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 8th, 2005
5:04 pm	Busy BEE... I have experienced so much in so little time. We signed the lease on Counter Culture Cafe' back in April of "04" and we have just recently opened doors. It took a lot of hard work and determination to get the cafe' to an acceptable state for the opening. It took a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but it is and was definitely worth it. It is so awesome to see good friends at the cafe'. I had to withdraw myself from social activities during the renovation period, but now I can have fun again:) Many cuties were in the house for First Friday, which shows that it is all coming together or it has come together!! I want more parties, more D&B, more 80's, more everything. I am trying to talk Dre into having a special underground party, but we will see. I spent my days off working on the many projects that needed that special TLC that only a woman could give. It was a magickal working in itself, I just wish we had before and after pictures of the place. My social life, home and rest had to be sacrificed to get everything done but it was a sacrifice that had to be made. There has been positive feedback on the decor and so the hard, long hours have manifested the intent behind it all. All of us can achieve what our mind/hearts can conceive. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Depeche Mode (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
10:49 am	Put away all hindrances, let your mind full of love pervade one quarter of the world, and so too the second quarter, and so the third, and so the fourth. And thus the whole wide world, above, below, around and everywhere, altogether continue to pervade with love-filled thought, abounding, sublime, beyond measure, free from hatred and ill-will. -Adapted from the Digha Nikaya Current Mood: content (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, May 13th, 2004
5:05 pm	Ohhh Kali!!! I have been focusing on astral workings to enlighten and indulge my need for spirituality. My dreams have become more and more vivid lately. I had a dream the other night that I was flying and suddenly I was drawn into the comfort of a cloud. I sat there as if I were pondering what to do next, but then I heard a woman's voice behind me. I turned around to find Kali standing behind me she continued to talk, but I didn't understand anything she was saying as I was mesmerized with her presence. I fell asleep last night thinking of this dream and maybe because of this I had another dream of her. This dream consisted of a harem of lovely ladies in an arabesque setting. We were caressing and exploring each others' bodies. In the midst of the bliss Kali entered and all others disappeared. Kali and I had a one on one experience. I submitted to her and I let her devour me, she was in total control of the experience. She pulled my hair, she asphyxiated me, she explored everything there is to explore. She sunk her teeth into me and I felt her flesh against my flesh. While experiencing the orgasmic bliss I noticed that I had six arms myself. Six arms protruding from my body freaked me out and so I awoke. This is leaving me feeling rather odd in my corporeal life, I think I want to go back to bed now. Current Mood: enthralled (20 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 20th, 2004
7:33 pm	Leaving the Office Late!!! I received a message last night from my partner at my new community saying that some of my clients were on their way to purchase a home. I raced over here after all of my meetings and waited for them. Needless to say they did not show. I received another phone call from them today saying that they would make it out today and they just now called saying that the wife went into false labor. Argh!!!! They asked me if I would come out tomorrow, but it's my day off and given their track record I am not going to waist my day off sitting in the office. I'll see if someone will write the deal for me and split it 50/50. If it happens it happens, I am no longer lusting the result. Happy 4.20 everyone. I will enjoy the rest of the day much better when I get home. I will take my mind relaxer, sit in lotus position and watch the universe unfold to my third eye. Breath in the good air and breath out the bad air. I hope the Milky Way is showing itself to my naked eye tonight, I am in need of the eye candy that nature brings. Ov the Love (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 27th, 2004
11:40 pm	I'm Getting My Fix!!! I can't believe I've been without internet for the past month. I have to get my fix in a cafe in downtown Tempe since I am cautious on my activity on office p.c.s. I've been waiting on Qwest to notify me of our line conditioning in BFE, which would allow us to have the high speed internet access. Our satellite dish is driving me nuts! Since it's not the latest and greatest it runs a pace faster than dial-up and not nearly as fast as cable modem. I yearn for the days of civilization. I miss clean cars, and a social life that doesn't take an hour and a half to get to. I miss having easy access to anything I want. I miss the ease and greatness of Cox@Home. Maybe someday we'll have the best of both worlds. We seem to get out a little more now of days. It makes me elated to see the outside world, being free of responsibility every now and then is good for the spirit. Not that going out is being free, but it helps to unburden myself from the harsh reality of corporate America and the rat race I run. I work for a corporation to give money to many corporations. I am currently cut off from the only communication I had to the outside world... while at home in BFE. I have to pay the man for internet access and I shall return...at least to lurk. Current Mood: envious Current Music: Rancid "Ruby Soho" (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 4th, 2004
6:56 pm	Nobody's Home!!! It's been a long time since I have been the first one home. My honey picks up the girls from daycare and usually beats me here. It is sooo quiet. No screaming and no crying...I am so relaxed. I hope they are ok. Dre left his phone at home, so he wouldn't be able to call me if in fact something was wrong. Well maybe I'm not that relaxed if I think of it in those terms. Always contradicting myself somehow. Nothing to worry about they just got home. That was a weird fifteen minutes. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 17th, 2004
11:30 pm	Must Slow Down... I thought I was in good health, but my body told me to think again. I was in the hospital for about a week and it was a week two long and then I was on a week of bed rest when I came home. I lost any and all faith in the medical industry especially when I saw a nurse walk in to a wall. It started off with severe abdominal pain that sent me to the Gynecologist and a pelvic exam from hell that sent me to the emergency room for a CT. I had three specialists scratching their heads without a clue as to what was going on with me and test after test showed no signs as to what it was. The only good news is that I was able to rule out all the things it wasn't. You would think after two ultrasounds, two CTs, two x-rays, exploratory surgery and several blood cultures...they would be able to tell me what sent me into the ER. I don't want to deal with doctors anymore, but Dre is making sure I go to all of my follow up visits. I just want it to be over with. Needles and stirrups make me freak out. I was trying to pass the threshold and cross the abyss while I was in the hospital. I was in pain to begin with, but all the useless tests put me through more needless pain. I think the main solution would have been to put me on antibiotics and pain killers rather than conducting all of those bloody tests. Pain Gnosis isn't one of my favorite workings, but I had plenty of practice. A lot of people that I respect and adore came to visit me in the hospital. Mr. Diller and the lovely Mrs. Diller came by to wish me well before they had to run off for some other friends in need. Ellis Windelstraw and his lovely lady came by and brought me some music and I was able to see Daniel for the first time in about a year. My manager stopped in a couple of times to wish me well and tell me not to worry about work, our old roommate stopped in to say hello and a friend I only see once in a blue moon came in to say hi. My honey was there for the majority of the stay and he would have been there the entire time had I not chased him off due to him going stir crazy. I know I was looking pretty crazy in my morphine haze, but I was happy to see everyone who stopped by. A big thank you to everyone who wished me well and sent their healing energies my way. Thank you for paying me a visit in an uncomfortable hospital and thank you for calling across the nation to say hi. Thanks for all the love and making time for us. It means a lot to me and has a special place in my heart:) Current Mood: loved (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 20th, 2004
11:00 pm	Where is the Enlightenment??? For the past year or so I have been very focused on success. Yearning for success in all areas of life not just the financial aspect that one could wish for. Success in life, love and freedom are a burning desire that are waiting to be fulfilled. This is going to take some work to achieve and I think it can be done. When I close my eyes and meditate on what it would feel like to have no worries, it fills me with warmth and hope that it will be. Seeing with my eyes closed brings it this much closer to my reality. Willing to be content with each and every moment, surrendering ALL to the universe. With each breath, feeling the vibrations of what will manifest. While my eyes are closed I can see freedom in the future, but it ceases to exist when I open my eyes. Is it only the wealthy that are free while the rest have to work for a living and while working for a corporation are we property of the corporation? If only lounging on the beach would pay the bills, the world would be a much happier place. Current Mood: focused (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 14th, 2004
1:32 pm	Skipping the fun... Today I received a phone call from my partner letting me know that one of my clients wants to come in today to get started on the home buying process. The only problem is that this was such short notice for me. I have my crazy two year old daughter with me today and she will not let me go through the paperwork without throwing a fit. I have to skip belly dancing tonight because I have this other home based business deal that I have to get training on and it is scheduled from 6-10p.m. tonight. My belly dancing starts at 6. I guess there is always next week unless something else comes up. I must stay focused. I can always have fun when I am retired. Current Mood: rushed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 13th, 2004
10:16 am	Going Up... We've been focusing on bettering our current state of being. My husband and I have been discussing what we are going to do for 2004 and we feel as though 2004 is going to be a change for the better. I love when he feels the positive vibe because it makes it easier for me to stay positive. Isn't it insane how the person you are with can effect the way you feel? If Dre is down than I am not very upbeat. Now that he seems to be focused and feeling positive about the direction that we are going, it's easier for me to do the same. The seeds we have planted and watered are now going to germinate. The change is coming! Give me something good 2004:) Current Mood: accomplished (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 2nd, 2004
10:57 pm	Happy New Year... To tell you the truth I don't recall most of New Year's Eve. I was out and about most of the day trying to get things accomplished. Once I was home I had to do some of my normal activities like wash clothes and dishes and take care of the everyday mundane chores around the house. I took a nap in Athena's room while she watched her movies and bounced on my head. It wasn't a very restful nap, mostly because I was waking up every ten to fifteen minutes to growl at her. I yearned for rest, I only had an hour of sleep the night before because I was feeling the effects of Yellow Swarm, which is an energy supplement that has ephedrine. I really need to run out of my energy supplements because they are no good. They are little pills of pure evil. I am like the ultimate temptress trying to persuade people into taking them with me and sometimes I even succeed. We met up with our friends at 11:30 P.M.at the Brickhouse in downtown Phoenix...we like to arrive fashionably late. I had some goodies to eat before going in to the club. I felt like Alice in Wonderland for a major portion of the night. It wasn't my type of music, but I don't really care what the genre is as long as I get to dance. We left about 1:30 A.M. to go to our friends house for a night filled with more goodies. Somehow I always find myself surrounded with the male species. Our friend Bill was trying to get a female friend of his to come with us. She was cute so I joined in and tried to get her to come, but her friend was stuck on some guy and she didn't want to come and so the girl that Bill tried to get to come with us didn't come. Once again I was the only XX there:( It would have been nice to have a girl around. We went on a huge mission that night. From one house to another house to another house to another house to another house and then to drop everyone off. We did somewhat of a good deed, but of course with ill intentions. At one of our stops a group of people came up to the vehicle and an attractive female came up to the driver side and asked Dre if they could get a ride. He said, "Ask the boss." and pointed in my direction. I quickly checked her out and said,"Yes." I hope she didn't notice me noticing her breasts, but I know Dre noticed as he mentioned later that night. When we dropped off the last person to be dropped off, we went inside and had a chance to stay for a while but our good friend Agent 139 was crashed out in the truck and we didn't want to disturb him. After we came home at 5:30 A.M.we told him what was inside the house we could have stayed at for a while (many cute girls in PJs in cuddle mode giving off the BP vibe) and he told us we should have woken him up for this. I wish I would have known is all I am saying...I wish I would have known:) Dre and I took an early morning bath and had a day of, "What the hell happened!" We had a bunch of goodies that night/morning and my intentions where to have Tantric Sex on tape. His intentions were a bit different than mine. He was messing with the alter that was supposed to signify our intentions for 2004 until 4:30 P.M.. I tried everything to have my intentions fulfilled way before that. It included a strip tease, totally naked tease and even a BJ. Nothing was working on him and I mean nothing. I was like WTF so I had to do my own thing by myself for a long time until I had to throw him on the bed and hop on it. I finally came out of the room at 6:00 P.M. and not very aware of the time or the company we had in the next room typing away on the computer. I came out a little on the bashful side not saying much and unaware of what Agent 139 heard behind the closed door. After all I am somewhat shy. I have so much more to post, but I have to go to bed now so I can wake up for work in the morning. HAPPY NEW YEAR! (9 Comments |Comment on this)